Another good nights sleep. I think he’s feeling a bit more at home. We had another grim moment mid morning.
There seems to be a pattern forming for these distressed periods:
- He gets very weak
- He gets very distressed and focuses on imminent death, this is intimately tied up with feelings of uselessness.
- Constantly gets up and wanders, you absolutely have to stay close and ready to catch.
- He gets lots of absences when he is standing during these periods, think fainting and you get the idea. If I’m not there to catch him he will hit the ground. The absences seem to coincide with emotional peaks in the conversation, he builds up to a crescendo then off he goes. You can see them coming, he just goes motionless and stares blankly, you have about 2 seconds to grab him or he falls, his legs don’t give out funnily enough so he topples like a tree. They are much more common since the episode that put him in hospital.
Usual issues with food and drink. We’ve been trying to use music to keep him less bored but it is of dubious effectiveness, even his favourite pieces just drift passed him after the first few minutes.
Ah well, at least there are the British Steam videos… AARGGGHH!!!! I mean, this is trainspotters paradise but I’m sorry, watching extensive explanations of inverse double cycle piston flange balancing procedures is turning me homicidal.
Trundled him round the block earlier, now going out for a drive, the weather is horrid so not much scope for jollies, back later!!!
Well that was as much fun as sticking hot needles in my eyes, he hates driving now. Over an hour of ‘Oh God’ ‘Jesus’ at every turn,acceleration, deceleration let alone speed bumps. Can’t explain what the problem is, whether it’s confusion or physical discomfort, he does complain that he doesn’t know where he is any more. Maybe it’s that, but it’s beginning to seem like any drive longer than about 15 mins has him groaning and complaining about how long it has been. I swear it’s only a matter of time before “are we there yet?”
After a doze back at home, he decided that he was going to eat a serious meal, and I don’t know if it was related, but after a doze he woke up full of beans, asked to go round the block in the wheelchair and when asked said “This isn’t REALLY cold, let’s go!” Full of spring cheer he was. That lasted until 10pm when all of a sudden it was back to wobbly, back to wheelchair, off to bed. Have high hopes of him sleeping properly.
In non Phil related news we are organising a cat door in the little bedroom window, this way we can close them in the room so they won’t set off the alarm but they can still get out removing the need for stinky cat trays. Oh yeah, and on the subject of hoovering I have done a demo of the Wella Technique… Because you’re worth it
To do list:
Am trying to organise someone to sit with him while we have a conflab on how we manage the next few weeks. We all need more respite care, we need to discuss extra help in general, I want to do this without Phil around.
The hospital promised us a visit to review the house for safety issues but not a peep from them so far, will hassle on Monday. I’m glad I had the foresight to note down the name and extension of the occupational therapist who promised to call within a few days. Is a week a few days? Maybe, but I don’t want to wait around as Phil seems so weak more often.
I also want to speak to Emma regarding these absences and Phil’s ever decreasing moods. We must not make the mistake of biting off more than we can chew.