The long night. There was little sleep had. Because he had been so tired and sleepy during the day he was wide awake all night talking almost non stop. Hard to understand most of it. Mum was getting tired so I got him up to watch some video around midnight. See if I could give mum some quiet.
He decided this was all a conspiracy, that Laura wanted him gone, that we all just wanted him to shut up and die. Cue a couple of hours of discontented rambling. He is getting bored of train videos, tried some Eisenstein but he could not read the subtitles so it was, as he pointed out, just pretty pictures and only entertaining for 5 minutes. Ho hum, how to entertain him is a real problem, the dementia make it pretty intractable. We have just set up his old digital radio and that has him pretty engaged, Deb’s idea!
Since the hospital a darker bitter side has shown a few times, not sure if it is anything but a completely rational response to a bleak prospect. Still waiting to see how much he will return to normal as he recovers from the last few days, from the initial problem and the stress of hospital. I would expect some improvement but I’m not deluding myself into expecting a complete recovery.
In a way he seems to have more mental energy and to be more aware of his illness than before, it’s hard to describe but for example today he was very tearful over the fact that he could no longer do the gardening which he regards as his duty, he feels like he is letting us all down. That’s very clear and reasoned compared to before, what’s changed… This clarity just serves to make his reasons for being depressed all too clear to him. He is so very restless, he rambles on semi-coherently without cease, we have watch him constantly like a child. He can’t sit still for 5 minutes and if we don’t keep an eye out we find him tottering around. We worry about a fall, so basically we have to watch him closely 24/7, this is tiring in the extreme and it makes it very hard to find time to do anything. Life is chopped up into tiny little fragments such that settling down to do anything is impossible. Ho him, par for the course I’m sure, I bet all you parent types know exactly what I’m talking about.
Physical strength ebbs and flows, sometimes strong, sometimes very unsteady, pretty much the same as before.
But at least we have the cats! Phil loves animals, always has. Sometimes I wish they were more ‘lap cat’ in temperament but they occasionally show some purry headbutty love
Mickey shows greater aptitude for dozing than guarding
Molly is not impressed
Mum’s out at the eye specialists having a check up. Deb helping out. When they get back, maybe go for a drive.
So that was ok! took Dad to Battersea Park. Pushed him around the lake in the wheelchair. Lovely spring day. God, Dad moans about driving, every bump is a moan and a groan and in London, everything is bumpy. Joke: In Britain we used to drive on the left of the road, now we drive on what’s left of the road! Anyway, Battersea Park was very beautiful on this crisp sunny spring day, Battersea Power Station looked very cool in the sun, not that you can see easily from the shitty mobile photos:
‘Ooo you lookin’ at?
Lights, camera, AKSHUN!
Mum news: she had cataract removed a week or two ago but the expected improvement failed to materialise. She went into hospital for a checkup today and they found some macular degeneration. They sound confident that they can treat this with a series of 3 monthly injections. Sounds optimistic. See below for Deb’s summary.
That’s about it, sorry for the ramble but this is one thing I can fit in between Phil chasing sessions. This is me being bored.
Am heartily sick of videos about steam trains!
11pm and he’s still talking, he’s being going for 14 hours… is this a taste of the future. G’dammit Phil! Go to SLEEP!
Info about eye ops:
Eylea is the preparation that will be injected monthly for 3 months, starting 3 March (10am). After the first 3, they will then review to determine if it is in fact having a positive effect; if not, at that point treatment will be discontinued. However, if it is working, they will arrange further injections for up to a year at 6 to 8 weekly intervals.
The active ingredient is Aflibercept, which is a fusion protein used for the treatment of wet macular degeneration. It works by inhibiting the overexpression of vascular endothelial growth factor (VEGF) that causes blood vessels to grow up from the choroid behind the retina.
Since the eye is a closed environment, the side effects are minimal. There may be raised pressure inside the eye for a short period which usually dissipates naturally, but can cause pain (eye or headache). Over-the-counter painkillers are usually prescribed. Very rarely it can cause an allergic reaction, but more often in those with existing allergies. There will likely be some minimal bleeding of the injection site that should not cause concern (will look like a bloodshot eye). As an invasive procedure, there is also a small risk of infection, although as a preventative measure, prior to the injection the eye is washed with disinfectant, and antibiotic eyedrops administered for four days post injection.